Living with anxiety is very challenging; it feels like carrying an invisible weight—nobody sees or knows until you spill it. Sometimes, this weight presses and even breaks us. It causes people to wonder why someone known to be happy and full of life suddenly becomes a shadow of their former self. The struggle can be so silent that even those around you won’t understand everything happening beneath the smile you wear.
It has nothing to do with nervousness; no one is a scared cat for struggling with anxiety. I see it as a persistent struggle in daily life that can linger for a while. It’s a constant negotiation between fear and resilience, a struggle between wanting to give up and pressing forward.
This feeling can be good or bad depending on how we handle it. It’s not a third world disease, nor a thing of the weak—I’ve read and seen strong people also battle their anxiety.
Before now, I didn’t like pouring out my anxieties because it’s easily misunderstood. People see it as seeking pity, but that’s not the case for many of us. For me, writing about them means I acknowledge the weight and the fight. It means I’m putting in effort to conquer my anxieties while connecting with people in my shoes.
I recently saw a video of a guy who wears a mask of himself smiling all day. Everyone loves his smile, but when he gets home and pulls off the mask, his face shows he’s drowning in fear, tiredness, and anxiety. It reminded me of my past struggles with anxiety. Even though I’ve made progress, it still lingers. The feeling creeps in unexpectedly and gradually grows into a struggle.
I’m about to witness something extraordinary in my life, and as much as it makes me happy, there’s this bit of anxiety surrounding it. I get lost in thought over it because I’ve never been in this position before. It’s definitely a new beginning, but the process isn’t easy.
I’m not directly involved in the process, but I bear emotional and physiological anxiety, all through the journey. As the big moment draws nearer, I just can’t shake off that feeling.
I remember feeling mentally and physically ready for this journey, but all of a sudden, anxiety crept in from nowhere, leaving me in real emotional states. Sometimes, I feel too tired to do anything, which reflects on my blog, while there are days when I get bumped up to keep going.
My financial life puts me in a tight spot with anxiety, even though it’s got nothing on my mental health. I’ve always preferred living below my means; I love the simplicity, but money is involved either way. I’m glad taking every responsibility I’m attached to today—it brings me happiness—but responsibilities come with weight when I think too much about tomorrow. It’s not certain or guaranteed, but it’d be terrible not to plan for tomorrow.
To help myself, I practice mindfulness—focusing on the present instead of thinking too much about the future we can’t tell we will be part of. I spend time with people and also engage in other things that make me happy whenever the feeling becomes overwhelming. Finally, I appreciate and remind myself that my anxieties are temporary and will be gone if I don’t quit trying.
A lot of the time, running into that anxiety state is just inevitable, but how we handle it matters a lot. There’s no shame in struggling with anxiety—the struggle beats down to the fact that we’re human. We mustn’t lose our head in the struggle. We just keep pushing and, most importantly, have faith in God.
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