One of the biggest holiday seasons in the year that we always look forward to is fast approaching, and my preparation challenge is not finding the best outfit to wear or how to get food stuff. But, my biggest holiday preparation challenge is contemplating how much is in my power that I can afford to give everyone.
Because very soon now, my phone will start looking like a notice board. My mum will start asking when am I coming home. My sisters too will send some things of what they want me to get for them. Another person will send a WhatsApp message to the family group about contributing to a family gathering meal. And looking at all these, none of these requests is unreasonable alone. The hard part is that they always comes in all at once or the same week, while I have already assigned my money to bills, transport and ordinary expenses.
The price of fuel just went up again over here, and it is expected that transport fare will also go up. I could remember holding my notebook while sitting, calculating the curse of fares, then canceling out the amount because that was the current price, and in few weeks time, the price would have increased.
I want to get home and be able to give enough help as much as possible, have the best time during the break and go back with borrowing or in debt. Yet, what I hate the most is getting home empty handed. As a man, that always looks weird. And most often, that pressure remains unspoken, but there is always this clear picture in my head of how some people might interpret what I bring.
So due to that, I have always taken my time to plan early, put a limit and say it out loud in a mature way when I cannot give as much as I would like to. Though it is not always comfortable. Sometimes, I always feel the guilt of saying no, most especially when I am out of budget and everyone is trying to make the holiday a memorable one. To balance that is harder than planning the holiday travelling or choosing gifts.
And lately, I have been seeing things differently which is that preparation goes beyond the gifts and goodies that I carry home to share. It is also about being smart and wise to make sure that I do not travel home for the holiday, enjoy the few days and carrying debt into the next year. But as things are, I'll continue to do my best ask for God's guidance too.
Thank you for reading.
