Most times, my friends think there’s a snitch in our circle, telling me stuff about them. This actually makes me laugh all the time. I enjoy seeing their shocking faces anytime they realize I knew something about them even before they let me know.
Coming from the kind of home that I come from, I had to be observant. How so? I grew up with stubborn warriors all around me and I had to always read their moves. It was either that or you get blamed for something you didn’t do or even worse, knew nothing about. My brothers would plan a lot of things, execute and then blame me for the damages. I was equally stubborn so my mom never believed me. I just had to start watching them up-close.
I eventually started observing these little demons and before I knew it, I was always a step ahead of them. I always knew what exactly they wanted to do. I could even read meaning into their conversations whether coded or not. When I was a kid, it was fun knowing things my brothers had planned. It was really cool to know what they wanted to do before they even did. It was so amazing to know what they thought just from observing their actions. Now that I am all grown up, I hate it.
I mean I used to really like that I could know things without being told, figure out things without being informed but now? I hate it so much. I wish I was just observant when it came to work and nothing else. I just wish…..sigh! I just think I know more than I should and it becomes a lot to carry. There are things I know now that I believe I don’t have to know but I already do and there’s no going back.
Most times, I already know what’s going on between my friends before they even tell me. I would normally pretend like I have no idea because for me, what you haven’t told me, I don’t know. It becomes a burden knowing that your friends are doing something behind you and then again, you’d have to wait for them to be caught because you don’t want to move “funny”. For me, I just wish I didn’t even know in the first place.
My whole point is, I observe things a lot and they make me know things most times without even being told and I hate it. It only makes me very alert as a person and even more anxious around people. It’s a lot for me to deal with. If I ever get the opportunity to suppress this or ever eliminate it from my life, I wouldn’t even think twice. For me, it hasn’t really helped me in anyway especially as someone who minds her business a lot.
If anyone here can link me to work with the FBI, please do not hesitate at all. This talent of mine is really wasting away.
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