This is an opportunity I would really be glad if I had; to be able to meet with my younger self. There’s so so much I would have to tell him. It would really be a wonderful time having to sit close to someone who has no idea what future holds, and yet is still full of expectations about how life is going to turn out.
What I am likely to start off with is to tell him not to be in such a hurry to grow. I remember when I was still much younger and tender and how impatient I was to become an adult. I remember how annoying it could be at those times being treated as a kid or being deprived of certain things because I was not of age. All I imagined was having freedom to make my own decisions, go wherever I wanted to go to without being restricted by my parents, and basically put an end to people looking down on me as just a kid who knows nothing. All my belief was that things would naturally fall into place the moment I became an adult. And when my prayers finally got answered, it was disappointing that things didn’t exactly turn out the way I had thought it would.
I would as well tell him that making mistakes is part of growing up. Sometimes when I reminisce on certain decisions I made in the past and imagine being faced with such situations presently I definitely would have decided differently. There were a couple of moments when I allowed fear to stop me from trying out new things, and it became really painful when I saw some of my peers went on to take the risks and succeeded in that same thing I was afraid of trying out.
And there were other times when I spent worrying about things that were not even worth worrying about. Though there were things that I tried out but didn’t work out I am not going to discourage him from taking chances even though they may fall through in the end.
I would also encourage him to take his passions seriously because this was something I failed to do when I was still much younger. Sometimes, the things we consider as just mere hobbies when we were younger can become important parts of our lives later on. I would tell him to endeavor to explore, cultivate the habit of learning new things, always ask questions and never feel embarrassed about being a beginner at anything.
Most importantly, I would remind him that life doesn’t follow a particular timeline. The society have instilled in us the mindset that at certain timeframes in our lives we should have certain things we ought to have accomplished for each of those timeframes, and failing to have done them when the time elapses means we have failed. But this not true in all cases.
I’ll try to make him understand that it’s okay to have goals for the next five years or before hitting a particular age. But also I’d make him understand that just because he doesn’t meet up with the deadlines he set for himself doesn’t make him a failure or mean that he should seize from putting in work. Sometimes things may not occur at the stipulated time not because we didn’t try enough but because it just wasn’t the right time for it to happen.
I probably wouldn’t tell him everything about the future because some experiences are better understood when you live through them yourself. Besides, I wouldn’t want to deprive him of the excitement of discovering things for the first time. It’s like someone taking away the excitement of a movie by narrating the whole story to you before you even get to watch it for yourself.
If our conversation has to end with just one piece of advice, it would be me telling him to enjoy being young, but at the same time not to waste the opportunity to become someone he and his family would be proud of in the future.
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