Anytime that I look at the younger version of me, there is a lot of thought that goes into my mind. It is not that I dislike the past version of me, it is just that there are different dreams, ambitions, different fears, completely different understanding of life and it is one of the strange things about getting older, you just don't wake up one morning and say that you are turning to another person, it comes gradually. Life is slowly lived but the impact is seen at the end of the whole story.
Every daily action is gathering up a bit character and life in its full capacity. When I was very young, I was so concerned about people liking me and stuff like that. Everybody wants to be liked, everybody wants to be the choicest child in the block, everybody wants to be at the top so that they will call you out and stuff like that.
So, as time goes on, when all of us are now getting older and older by the day, we find that even the most prized person might not even end up as the one that will end well in life. We later come to know that the fact that you are doing fine at a younger age or at a time that everybody is looking at you, that does not really mean that the person that is still last today won't become the first tomorrow and that is one thing that makes living life very special and crazy to begin with. When I have money, I still want to build things.
I still want to do a lot of things. I want to experience beautiful places and enjoy life to the fullest. But, I'm not doing this to prove anything.
In fact, I've left the realm and the age bracket of proving to someone if I've arrived or not. And it is experience that taught me all this. There are things that I personally don't notice.
If someone doesn't like me, I'm okay by it. Even if he decides to like me, I'm still fine by it. Even if others are moving faster than me, it's all good.
I have learned that not every situation deserves my emotional energy at all times. These and many more are what I have come to know and I have made peace with my younger version of myself. So, as I grow older in life, I don't get to bother myself much on it.
Then, adulthood happens again. As people are getting jobs, people are getting married, moving to different cities, having children and becoming very busy with their life. Gradually, there are some people that you have been talking to in time pass that are not that available anymore.
It might look as if something was wrong, but nothing was wrong. But nothing was wrong. I know some people only support you when you are doing well and when everything is bad, they can turn the other way.
So, all these things helps to make one to be very observant of what is happening in and around you. When I was very young, our success looked exactly like an estern or something. When it comes to money, car, recognition, everybody wants it.
But as time goes on, life was showing every one of us a different side of the story. I don't really think growing old can make us better. It just gives us a chance to understand things better the more.
Because you now have a lot of experience and years to process one single action unlike before where one single action can just take a year so you know. Now, if an opportunity is presented right in front of you, you have a whole year of experience to draw knowledge from and make a better and right decision for your future self. As I am closing towards 40, I am becoming wiser too, more wiser than the 30 plus years man that I was before.
And I hope that by the time I clock 50, I can look back and understand everything. Because that's actually what growing up means in every aspect.
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