To be kind and supportive is all good. However, there is always a limit to everything. Once a person goes beyond the threshold, he suffers in the process. There are certain times I've seen people say no to lending a helping hand. The young me at that time thought it was all wickedness. If one has it, why not give to anyone who asks? I always asked myself. A "no" felt like being wicked until I realized a certain truth—it was a lesson life taught me about why sometimes I need to look away, especially in a scenario where I wasn't rooted enough to bear the burden of others.
After my tertiary institution, I felt the need to shoulder the burden of people at home and friends. Every request I said yes to, whether or not I had the money. Sometimes I went to the extent of lending from others just to meet the responsibilities of others. It felt like I was a hero at the start until I entered a debt I was unable to pay. Then I realized I was all alone, burdened by the responsibility of others while they moved freely with no weight on them. Worse, while I suffered in silence, they invested their money while hoping I'd take up the responsibilities of their needs.
Image generated using Gemini AI
While I felt like I was helping to lessen the burden, they didn't see it that way. What they saw was a savior; unfortunately, I was just a mortal man. I denied myself good to see that others are happy, and at a certain point, the same people asked me what I had been using my money for and why I wasn't making investments. For years I suffered in debt, and I was the only one responsible for taking myself out of it. Then I knew that sometimes no is just the perfect answer, especially when saying "yes" would deny you your comfort.
We look away when accepting would cost us our peace. We look away if we are not strong enough to carry the burden of another. We look away when those people in our circle are people who wouldn't sacrifice the same for us, and we look away when it doesn't feel right. There are many reasons to look away, and saying "no" isn't weakness—it's a way of saying "I value my peace, I'm not strong enough to take up that responsibility, or I'm not ready yet." All these are reasons why we look away, because looking away sometimes is the best way of showing how much we value ourselves and our mental health.
Posted Using INLEO
