The fear that you are going to lose someone you treasure so much, someone so close to your bosom, or someone who means the whole world to you can get you so disorganized. It can become even worse if the person is your parent, a sibling or your close family member. I have been in this state for almost a month now, and it all happened when I was informed through a phone call by my brother who stays at my hometown with my parents that my mom was not feeling well.
I was informed it all started as a mild pain in her joint and later on, it aggravated into an unbearable pain.
My fear grew when I went to see her myself after I was informed that the pains had defied every medical attention that was administered on her. Though she was so lively as I traveled back home that day, I was not really comfortable seeing her in that condition. I could not just bear to see her go through such pains.
I will say, literally, that I bore the pains she bore because watching her writhe in pain made me destabilized. She had gone for a scan but the scan result did not have a trace of anything and that made it difficult to know what exactly was the cause of the pains.
A ray of hope came and expelled a fraction of my fear when she exhibited faith in her condition. As I kept conversing with her all through the few days that I was around her, her words were, “my son, I know you are really worried about my situation right now, but it is needless to do so. I know there are health situations that medical personnel cannot handle and I also know that there are sicknesses their x-ray machines in their best state cannot detect, but I have a God who sees and can as well handle every medical situation”.
These were the only words that sustained me.
My fear heightened when she began to say things that were like a Parthian shot, words that by interpretation would mean that that was going to be her last moment on the earth. I was so scared as I later understood the implication of her words.
That morning as we were having our usual mother and child conversation, she mentioned to me her preferred hymns that should be sung during her funeral when she dies. The first one she mentioned was the hymn titled, Fading away Like the Stars of the Morning, followed by Whither Pilgrims are you Going. And then, she really stressed on the third one, It is Well with my Soul, emphasizing that she will not be scared even in dead because she was certain that it is well with her soul.
As if those words were not heavy enough, she went on and instructed me that we should not bury her inside the room as she has always instructed us (in his part of Nigeria, it is become a tradition that when someone is demised of his/her mother, they bury them inside the house as a sign of respect. A dead parent can only be buried outside if they did not have an apartment while they were alive. My mama chose otherwise because she has always deemed it meaningless).
I did not comprehend those words, and I never fathomed their implication until I returned to my base.
As I flipped through the page of the jotter on which I wrote out her words, it became clear to me that it seemed she was announcing her passing. I was so scared, and I quickly picked up my phone and put a call through to mom. I reminded her of her words and asked her why she said those words. I know my mom has always been in the habit of telling us how she would like her funeral to be conducted when she will kick the bucket, but this time was different because it looked as if it was going to become real instantly.
I told her that she was not going to die. That God is in charge of the situation and she will certainly defeat death. I was so happy when she told me yesterday that the pains were all gone and that she has been healed. My joy has known no bound since then
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
