Marriage is a special union ordained by God, still, I believe that marriage isn't for everyone, because as sweet as it looks from the outside it is not always rosy on the inside, it takes two committed individuals to make it work and enjoyable, but sadly most individuals are rather selfish, the reason the divorce rate keeps getting higher.

So when thinking of marriage how do you sort your ideal partner, should it be based on looks, character, finances, or love? From my personal experience, I believe marriage is based on a bit of all of the following and not one.

I was asked the same question by my last-born sister who is gradually getting into the marriageable age, the first reply I gave her was not to rush getting married to someone, especially for the sake of love, yea, you read that right, Love alone doesn't sustain a marriage, I'm not saying it isn't an important aspect of marriage, it is, but it isn't enough to sustain a marriage.

Imagine two crazily in love broke couples getting married without any plan for the future, but daydreaming about having beautiful children, which is also another blessing of marriage when the children start coming and their expenses double as well, what do you think will happen to the love in that home, rather than flourishing, it fades because of the financial burden and stress, they might even start having fights for this very reason, drifting apart further, next you know they are separated, while the mother now takes the financial burden alone as a single mum, the father becomes a deadbeat, you start to wonder if there wasn't love from the onset, there was, but other priorities were not considered before venturing into marriage.

Character is also another important aspect I look out for in a man, the truth is there are many immature adults in today's world, and marriage is one union that needs two mature adults coming together, because there would be many situation that calls for your maturity often, emotional maturity as well, there are times when the solution couples need is just mature communicating together to solve an issue but when one is immature, he/she dodges communication and would rather prefer to keep malice pulling the family apart further, complicating the already bad situation.

Also, is he or she God-fearing? You definitely can't skip this one no matter the religion you practice, there are certain things your partner would not do because he has the fear of God, I'm not referring to the ones who pretend, because even some so-called pastors have terrible marriages, from my experience having that fear, gives you to grace to commit, sacrifice and have one goal which is sustaining peace in your marriage.

I saved the looks/physical appearance for the last, I won't lie and say looks don't matter, at least for me it does, and it is not about having a particular feature but rather marrying someone you are attracted to and he/she to you as well and making sure they balance other aspect, imagine you were never attracted to the one you marry when the issues of marriage start coming up, there is every tendency for you to go look for the one that attracts you and cheat.

Yea, our bodies especially women change as we get older also pregnancy dies the most, the reason why we must also maintain self-care, and in the case of unforeseen circumstances like an accident disabling one, I believe if there was a sincere attraction from the beginning it will hold on no matter what.

In conclusion, marriage can't thrive on one aspect alone, it needs a bit of all, and yes there is that person for you, it's not going to be smooth sailing at all times, but as long as you have each other and are willing to work through life's challenges together, you'll find a way to make it work. Marriage requires effort, commitment, and patience from both partners.

For me, finding the right partner is about finding someone who complements me, supports me, and loves me for who I am, my imperfections, and all. It's about building a life together, sharing joys and sorrows, and growing together as individuals and as a couple.

Images used are mine

Thank you for reading❤❤

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