Learning to Choose Myself Without Feeling Guilty

It took me a very long time before I got to realize that being a good person does not necessarily means I should be granting everyone's wishes and saying yes to them, especially if they need my assistance. I have always been there for someone even though I know that I do not have the energy. Solving the problems of others even though I knew that it was going to affect me in a way. In my country, I do not know about others, but here, because a lot of people see me as someone who is nice, they expect me to always be there for them. And I used to do that before, but I was kind of having a heavy mind, like I have been carrying the burdens that are not even my own to bare.

Until recently, I started saying no, stopped going all in for people, and I started choosing myself when I was on the verge of losing myself trying to be the Mr. Nice Guy that everyone needed. I remember some time ago when a friend of mine asked me to show up at an event, but I was feeling so weak that day that he got angry that I did not come despite the fact that I dropped a message that I might not be able to come. At that moment, I gained something very important: that in this life, if I needed to rest because I was feeling weak, I should get that rest because that is not a disrespect.

And since that very moment, I have decided to set boundaries to avoid see finish. And since I stopped overexplaining myself to people after telling them that "I am not available" I do not force myself to show up for everyone. I put my phone on DND if need be because I have decided to choose myself and my peace of mind above other things.

And this does not mean that I am a selfish person because some things, like my mental health, are very important, most especially in situations like this. I need to be stable and balance everything. Now, I now prioritize myself just like the way I used to do to others before.

Because I have decided to choose myself does not mean I have pride. Personally, it is just a way of coping and surviving, and truth be told, it has been incredibly awesome.

Remember to love yourself because that's who you'll be spending the rest of your life with.

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Thank you for reading.

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