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LEARNING TO TRUST AGAIN

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In every connection we make with people, there is always the need for building trust and loyalty. Now the question comes, what is trust? I’ll say trust is the faith we have in people, particularly in those that we cherish or love. Most times, trust is hard to build and in cases like that, one will wonder why we still strive to stay in such relationships or friendships. One of the major reasons why we lose faith in people is due to lack of communication or miscommunication. Personally, I’m guilty of this lately. I keep struggling with communication and I know how much that has cost my relationship and friendships with people.
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There have been so many times I have lost my trust in people but then, I’m one to always give chances because I’d want the same if I were in their shoes. People make mistakes. I make mistakes and sometimes, what we need is another chance to try and be better and good words of encouragement too. I was once in a relationship that was good. Everything was working out well until I started noticing that my partner was lying. It was sad because he lied about something that I felt was insignificant. When I confronted him about it, he made it seemed like I was accusing him wrongly and blamed me for judging him. I felt bad, not because I was wrong but because of the words he said even when he knew he was lying.

I was hurt but then, I chose to forgive him and give him another chance. I had to assume that he had a reason behind why he lied and just let things slide. After that day, I started seeing a lot of things he was lying about but then, I felt it was because I was already looking at him from a perspective so I kept letting it slide until he did something else and we had to go out separate ways. I didn’t break up with him because he lied, it was because of something else and that’s because I didn’t even had the mind to break up with him just because he lied.

After the day I confronted him about lying, I always tried to make sure we had more honest conversations and I gave him no reason to lie. And also, I avoided asking him too many questions and only let him say what he wants to say most of the time just to help him always stay honest with me. And things worked out. I didn’t doubt him after that. Thanks to him, I learnt how to take people by their words. If they lie, then it’s on them. I can’t always be a detective in their lives to monitor whether or not they are telling the truth or lying. I just confront them about it and I take whatever responses I get from them.
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That isn’t really helping me, but it helps me build my trust in people. I’m someone that will usually want to argue with people especially when I know they are wrong but then, most times I have tried that, it wasn’t worth it so I learnt to let things slide. Trust can be rebuilt but it takes a long time and most especially, it takes honesty on both sides too. Pretense and lies will never help anyone build trust. It will only keep breaking relationships and friendships. Although, sometimes we have a good reason for not being honest but we should always remember that we might never get people to listen to our reasons later on.

This is my entry to the Scifi prompt edition 2. Thanks for reading through. 💜

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