This is one of those takes that you go all, “Girl, I’m going to hold your hand while I say this...” Because I feel that our society is a failed one for a question like this to even be a possibility. But I think these kinds of questions are necessary because while until now many of us have never had this question directed at us, we may be silently living in this and we don’t even know, maybe not this extreme but something quite similar.
The Ladies of Hive Community for this week asked a question:
A husband told his wife that he wishes her to say “okay” and “yes” to whatever he says to avoid further discussions or arguments. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Would you agree and nod to everything even when it is against your will or feelings? Please share your thoughts.
And then my first thought to this was, it should have been, A man told his slave that he wishes... Because clearly that is not a marriage in every sense of the word. I believe that it’s only a slave that can do your bidding, no questions asked even when it is detrimental to that slave. And that too is problematic because the word “slave” is a reduction from a human being.
Humans have rights, is it not? Right to life, right to freedom of expression and all of that. And as an innate human characteristic, we can’t help expressing ourselves however way we can. So when you make that kind of demand on someone you call your wife, you’ve invariably reduced her from human being status to object status. Meaning she no longer has a will of her own, meaning that her very existence is to meet and satisfy your every whim and her humanity is extinct. And the question is, when you got married to her, did you specifically inform her that she was to be an object and not a person?
If another human can freely express themselves to you, why can’t your wife? It’s crazy because the man that would make this demand of his wife will still be the one complaining that his wife isn’t smart and that when he brings his business ideas and dilemmatic thoughts, she has no contributions or ideas and simply agrees to everything he says. Topics like this get me livid for a lot of reasons and like I said before, it’s sad that this is even subject to debate. Some people have a displaced view of what marriage is. That it is a partnership and not a master-slave or superior-subordinate relationship.
So, my simple answer to this because delving any further would get me too worked up, is that before I’m a woman, I am a human being. A complete human with thoughts, feelings and ideas that deserve to be expressed and maybe if not completely understood, at least respected. Relinquishing that hold of what is the very essence of my humanity and existence means that I have relegated myself to becoming a mere object. And that, I am most definitely not.
Because the other question is on one of my best elements in the world, I will also answer it. The question is...
Some people are happier when it rains, others’ moods tend to shift and they become blue (sad or down). How do you usually feel on rainy days and what are your favourite things to do?
I wonder how the world would have been without rain. Rain is peace unfathomable. And it’s ironic that something that is sometimes chaotic can bring peace but that’s just how it is. I’ve had fond memories of the rain. From my childhood, when we’d play in the rain and get our bodies soaked, dancing and laughing till thunder would strike and we’d scurry into our homes in fright. Those were beautiful times that I’d want to relive again.
But now, my love for the rain is on a quieter level because I could read a good book, and let the rain create the perfect ambience for my reading experience, or I could be drinking hot cocoa or warm coffee or better still sipping on a steaming bowl of pepper soup with rice so white by the side. Better still I could be curled up in my bed under the duvet, probably with fan still blasting cool air from its depths and having the sweetest sleep with even sweeter dreams.
The rain is my peace and the storm it brings is my calm. So much so that times when my heart is racing, I only need to think of the rain and all will be calm.
Jhymi🖤
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
