It's easy to say that the best discovery I made about life is that I found the purpose of living. But I will take a slightly different path as regards that popular saying. Man as a social being lives beyond isolation; he constantly needs people, animals, tangible, and even intangible things to live. And just maybe man could find purpose in all the aforementioned, but then, when all is said and done, he remains with his thoughts and conscience, pondering if he had done justly or not, or whether his gray hairs justified his living.
I used to think that older people would die before me. In fact, I thought my older siblings would die before me. Maybe it was not greed; maybe it was because I was naive. I thought the world worked on a pattern. I lived like Superman, thinking and believing the world waited for me. Without regrets, though, I realized I loved and served humanity with all my strength and conviction. I believed so much in everyone around me; I wanted the best for everyone. All these were noble, but in all the Superman spree to save the world, I lost myself. From my recent studies, I got to realize that health goes beyond living; it means having the resources to attain one's fullest potential.
I had cared less about myself; I was a call away and would probably go extra miles to meet the needs of friends and family, sometimes of strangers. And being a medic, I was often a salvation to many. But I realized late that my health was beginning to get compromised as I was mostly lost in the haze of saving humanity. Kindness was a virtue I possessed; unfortunately, I was not kind to myself. I was giving out in abundance that which I didn't have for myself. You would say, as a health professional, I should know better, but, here in Nigeria, we hardly take care of ourselves, probably because of work overload and pressure. Anyways, better late than never, I realized I needed more attention to myself—self-care. This did not mean I would cut others out or stop the good deeds. The moderation that I lacked became a great necessity.
During my meditation, I realized most problems giving me headaches were from third parties and not necessarily caused directly by me. I realized that those problems would cease or even exist if I was not in the picture. Just like water that always finds a path, people would find alternatives. Thus, I made a resolution to live life a little and make myself a priority.
I thought that would come easy, but I had to remind and reaffirm those means to achieve the resources for a healthy life. Recently, I realized I am least worried when troubles come and solve only those that I am able to. Of course, this means saying no to many people and even activities, with emphasis on myself and myself. Eventually, even if I loved for five decades, once my conscience is clear, I am fulfilled.
So, back to my opening statement, my discovery about my life isn't really about why I am living; it's how to maximize resources for healthy living with a focus on myself while relating to other people and things as a social being.
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