I come here every day and sometimes talk about how I've been hurt, broken, and mistreated. Today I would like to talk about the time I hurt someone who did nothing but love me. I can say I now know how it feels to overlook the love people show us and perhaps this is karma teaching me a lesson. I'm at the point in my life where I do a lot of reflecting and see parts of myself that need improvement. I believe being a better version of myself begins with me owning up to my mistakes and trying to fix them but although this particular mistake I've made in the past is one I have not just gotten the chance to make amends for. For years now I've been trying to reach out to the person I offended, but with no success.
I was young and stupid, I met a love I wasn't ready for so it was only natural that I abused it without thinking. Although she had her flaws, being sincere, I never loved her in the beginning and was only using her to satisfy my desires as my friends did. By the time I started loving her, I had hurt her too deeply. I remember the times all she wanted was a hi from me, but I would find a reason to get angry with her and watch her cry her eyes out begging for forgiveness. Most of the time I would offend her intentionally and manipulate her into accepting that it was her fault, she would accept because she loves me, and I would say I even enjoyed watching her suffer. I hoped that she would get tired and leave, but for some reason, she didn't until I found a silly reason to make her leave.
I do not like to sugarcoat my words, and wouldn't even try in this case. So instead if I get the chance, I would like to personally tell her how sorry I am for all the pains I caused her, and everything I didn't take responsibility for. I know where to find her though, but I'm not also in talking terms with the person that is in contact with her. I hope she's doing well, but if I do get the opportunity to see her, I would love to apologize to her by looking into her eyes. I'm not in love with her again and do not wish to have any intimate relationship with her in the future, but I think I still owe her an apology.
PHOTO CREDIT IS MINE
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
