Punishments and rewards are like two sides of the same coin, they are products of actions. This is what every human has and will encounter in this life. This is also why it is good to expose our kids to them early in life, else they will grow up to think there are no repercussions and can do whatever they like whenever they like. A child will never know how hot the fire is until it burns them, this is why it is the duty of every parent to make sure that they do not get scared by the fire to know how hot the fire really is. But this does not also mean that we have to show them something hotter than the fire to make them scared of it, and a lot of parents become so emotional and forget that the idea is for the child to understand what it means to really get burnt and not to just scare the child away from the fire. If the approach of correction instills fear you might just raise a child who would be too scared to put out a fire out of fear. If there is also one thing I have realized it is that fear is a weapon and love is a weapon. The one you show a child will determine who they grow up to be.

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Growing up, I was punished so much that most of the time I remember the punishments even more than the rewards. This is not to say one was more than the other, it just shows the impact one has over the other. We tend to forget something very vital, and that is the fact that we were children at a point in our lives. Yes our kids are not us and will never be us, but at one point in time we were them, curious enough to make a lot of mistakes. When we remember the punishments we got as kids, can we really say we deserve some of them given our intentions and now understanding the intentions of our parents then? This thought will guide us on how to train our own kids, not to always punish them but to first understand them and give them what they deserve punishment or reward. What were the times we wished we were punished for as kids that we got away with and grew up to regret, and what are the things we were punished for that we knew we did not deserve.

The fact is pain stays longer especially when there are other emotions involved and it is our duty as parents to protect our children from pain that will scar them for life. But there are also times the best we can do for them is make them learn from their own mistakes and just be there for them but usually that is when they are much older. Rewards and punishments are both vital tools, but every child is different. Some are motivated by rewards, others are motivated in other ways that are not necessarily pain, maybe compassion and love. In all however the idea is to make them feel loved and not rejected. This is why I do not really like some punishments rendered to kids like starvation or regular beating. I do not also support every reward system,especially one that gives the child too much power. They might be children, but power can corrupt everyone.
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