This long-standing belief that genuine female friendships are rare or difficult to sustain. If I'm being honest, for a long time, I agreed with that belief, not because I wanted to, but because it reflected my own experience.
I've always found it difficult to keep friends. Looking back, I've often blamed myself. I would ask myself questions like, Am I the problem? Do I not put enough effort into my friendships? or Maybe I'm just unlucky when it comes to finding genuine people. It can be discouraging watching other women talk about friendships they have had for years or hearing someone call another person their "best friend" when I've never really had someone I could confidently call mine.
There were times when I wondered if I was missing something that everyone else seemed to have figured out. Seeing people with strong friendship circles sometimes made me question my ability to build lasting relationships. It wasn't that I didn't value friendship, seriously I did. In fact, I probably valued it so much that every friendship that faded left me wondering what I could have done differently.
As I've grown, though, I have realised that friendships are rarely as simple as we make them seem. Sometimes people outgrow each other. Sometimes life pulls people in different directions. Sometimes two good people simply aren't meant to stay in each other's lives forever. While it's important to reflect on our own actions and learn from them, I've also come to understand that not every friendship ending automatically means one person is at fault.
Even though I haven't experienced that lifelong "best friend" relationship yet, I've come to appreciate the beauty of meaningful connections, no matter how long they last. Some women have crossed my path at exactly the right time, offering encouragement, support, laughter, or lessons I needed in that season. Those relationships may not have lasted forever, but they still mattered.
What I've grown to appreciate most about female friendships is the sense of understanding they can offer. There is something comforting about talking to another woman who understands certain experiences without you having to explain every little detail. When the friendship is genuine, it becomes a safe space where you can celebrate each other's wins, be honest about your struggles, and encourage one another without competition.
At the same time, I've learned that intentional friendships require vulnerability, communication, consistency, and mutual effort. One person cannot carry the entire relationship. Both people have to choose it, especially when life becomes busy or difficult. That is something I'm still learning, and I'm giving myself grace along the way.
Today, I no longer see my friendship journey as proof that I'm incapable of building meaningful relationships. I simply believe that everyone has a different timeline. While I may not have found the friend I can call my best friend yet, I haven't stopped believing that genuine female friendships exist. And when they are built on honesty, respect, kindness, and intentionality, I believe they are worth waiting for.
Maybe there are other women who feel the same way I do, wondering why friendship seems to come so easily to everyone else. If that is you, I hope you know you are not alone. Sometimes the friendships we long for take longer to find, but that doesn't mean they aren't possible. Until then, I'll keep showing up as the kind of friend I hope to have one day.
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