I met a woman at the clinic on Monday, and honestly, my experience with her has been on my mind ever since. It reminded me that while we may not fully understand what someone is going through, we should always try to approach people with kindness and compassion.
This woman came to the clinic for antenatal care. After going through all the routine tests, the last thing she needed to do was meet with her assigned midwife. During their conversation, the midwife asked her how many months pregnant she was, and she replied that she was eight months gone.
However, when the midwife examined her, she discovered that the woman was already in the final stage of her pregnancy, yet she had not received proper antenatal care. She wasn't taking any medication, and from the way she looked, it was obvious that she was malnourished.
What happened next was quite heartbreaking to witness, the midwife began questioning her and told her that motherhood was not by force. She asked why someone who knew she wasn't capable of taking care of herself throughout pregnancy would choose to get pregnant in the first place.Honestly, I understand the concern behind those questions.
Pregnancy is a serious responsibility, and antenatal care is very important for the health and safety of both the mother and the baby. Healthcare workers have a duty to ensure that pregnant women receive proper care, and when a woman comes in at eight months without adequate medical attention, it is understandable that they would be worried.But at the same time, I couldn't help feeling sorry for this woman.
Pregnancy is not an easy journey. Imagine carrying a baby for eight months without proper nutrition, adequate medical care, or the necessary support. We don't know her story, we don't know what she has been through, the challenges she is facing, or why she hasn't been able to access proper care. Perhaps she has been struggling financially. Maybe she lacks support from her family or partner, there could be so many reasons behind her situation that we know nothing about.
And this is where I believe compassion should come in. Yes, she needs to understand the importance of antenatal care. Yes, she needs proper medical attention, and the healthcare workers need to take her situation seriously. But does correcting someone mean we have to make them feel worse about themselves?
Sometimes, people are already going through more than we can imagine. A woman who is malnourished and nearing delivery without adequate care may already be frightened, anxious, and overwhelmed. Being harshly criticised at such a vulnerable moment could add to her emotional burden and negatively affect her mental well-being.
We can correct people without humiliating them, we can educate them without making them feel worthless and we can express concern without taking away their dignity. I know that healthcare workers also have their challenges. They work under pressure, deal with difficult situations, and carry the responsibility of caring for lives. They are human beings too, and I understand that their frustration may come from a genuine concern for the mother and her unborn child. Nobody wants anything to go wrong during delivery.
However, I believe that a little patience and kindness can make a huge difference. Instead of focusing only on what she failed to do, they could also focus on what can still be done to help her and her baby have a safer delivery. At that point, she needed guidance, medical attention, encouragement, and support more than judgment.
Let us remember that not every pregnancy story is the same. Not everyone has the same opportunities, financial stability, family support, or access to healthcare. Motherhood is a responsibility, yes, but compassion should never be absent from the conversation.
Sometimes, a kind word can give someone the strength to keep going. Sometimes, the way we speak to a person can determine whether they feel safe enough to ask for help again. My lesson from this experience is simple, let's learn to be firm without being cruel and concerned without being judgmental because, the goal should not just be to tell a pregnant woman what she has done wrong. The goal should be to help her, protect her health, and give her baby the best possible chance of survival. A little compassion costs nothing, but it can mean everything to someone who is struggling.
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