As a mother, I’ve slowly come to realize something that life doesn’t always make obvious at first, but later reveals. In this life it is not everyone that will celebrate your progress. In fact, sometimes the more you grow, the more uncomfortable it can make certain people feel. It’s a strange reality, but a true one. Your development, your healing, and your confidence can unintentionally mirror back to others the areas of their own lives they haven’t yet dealt with. And instead of inspiration, that reflection can sometimes bring resistance.
Just because my sister travelled, just to struggle and make ends meet, leaving her two children with her husband but when the husband did not have time to take care of them, his brother's wife volunteered to take care of them but to her, my sister travelled to enjoy herself leaving her kids and the husband. She doesn't care to know about how hard it is for her before she left, she doesn't bother to know about the hard work she is doing where she is, all she care about is that she's progressing which is making her uncomfortable.
As a mom, I’ve learned something I didn’t fully understand earlier in life, people don’t always celebrate your growth the way you expect them to. Sometimes, the more you change and grow into yourself, the more it seems to make others uncomfortable. And I don’t think it’s always personal. I’ve come to believe it’s because your progress can reflect things they’re still struggling with in their own lives. That doesn’t make it easier to deal with, but it does make it easier to understand.
One thing I really want my kids to hold onto as they grow is that it is qnot everything negative coming from people is actually about them. If someone tries to dim their light, question their worth, or make them feel “too much,” it often says more about that person than it does about who they are.
Life will definitely have moments where they feel misunderstood. Where they try their best and still feel criticized. Or where they feel like they don’t quite fit in or are being judged unfairly. I don’t want them to be shocked by that, because it’s part of being human and moving through different spaces in life.
But what I do hope is that they don’t let those moments change how they see themselves. They don’t need to shrink to be accepted. They don’t need to quiet their personality, their dreams, or their voice just to make other people comfortable. There is nothing wrong with being seen.
At the same time, I also hope they don’t become hard because of what they go through. It’s easy to close off after disappointment or criticism, but I’ve learned that real strength isn’t about building walls around your heart.
It’s more about learning how to stand back up every time life knocks you down, without losing your softness in the process.To me, strength is getting hurt, learning from it, and still choosing to show up again as yourself… just a little wiser, a little more aware, and maybe even more grounded than before.
If I could leave them with one truth, it would be that their value doesn’t change based on how people treat them. They are allowed to grow, to take up space, and to become who they are meant to be without shrinking for anyone.
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