My sister called me yesterday to tell me that my mom was sick. I immediately called her to check on her. I asked how she was doing, and she said, “I’m fine.”
But honestly, she didn’t sound fine at all. There was something about her voice that made me know she wasn’t okay. So I told her, “Mummy, you are not fine. Why are you pretending?”
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And then she said something that really got to me.
She said, “I know how the economy is now, and I know how hard you people are struggling. I just don’t want to add my own problem to it.”
I nearly cried, I sat there thinking about those words over and over again. How can a mother be in pain and still be more concerned about the people she gave birth to? How can she be sick, yet her first thought is not about herself but about whether her children can afford to take care of her?
The heart of a mother is something I don't think we can ever fully understand.
I’m a mother myself, but even I still don’t understand how mothers manage to put their children before themselves in this way.
My mom was not feeling well, yet she was thinking about our struggles. She was worried that telling us she was sick would put more pressure on us.
And that really broke my heart.
It made me think about how many times mothers say they are okay when they are actually tired, worried, sick, or going through something. They don't want to disturb you. They don't want you to worry. They don't want to add to your problems.
They just keep managing. But Mummy, you don't have to do that with us. You are allowed to tell us when you're not okay, you are allowed to need help. You are allowed to say, “I’m tired,” or “I’m not feeling well,” without worrying about whether you are becoming a burden.
You spent so many years taking care of us. You worried about what we would eat, what we would wear, whether we were safe, whether we were okay. You made sacrifices that we probably didn't even understand at the time.
So why should taking care of you now feel like a burden? It shouldn't be if we have enough.
And this experience has reminded me that we need to check on our parents more intentionally. Not just with the call and ask, “Mummy, how are you?” and move on when she says, “I’m fine.”
Listen to her voice, pay attention, ask again “Are you really okay?” Because there are times when “I’m fine” simply means, “I don't want you to worry about me.”
Mothers have a way of hiding their pain because they love their children so deeply. They can be going through their own struggles and still be thinking about how we are doing.
I may never completely understand the heart of a mother, even though I am one. But one thing I know for sure is this, our mothers deserve to be cared for too.
Mummy, please don't ever think you are a burden to us. If you need us, tell us, If you are hurting, tell us, if you are tired, just let us know.
We may not have everything, and we may be struggling with our own lives, but please don't suffer quietly just because you don't want to add to our problems.
You took care of us when we couldn't take care of ourselves, now let us be there for you too.
And to everyone reading this, please check on your mother, call her, visit her if you can, ask her how she really feels. Because “I’m fine” may not always mean that everything is fine. Sometimes, a mother's greatest strength is also the reason she hides how much she needs her children.
Thank for checking on my blog and have a wonderful day
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