Sometimes I honestly wonder who decided that growing up was a good idea, seriously it is not a good idea at all.
When I was younger, I used to looked at the adults and think when will I also become an adult and be able to gain my freedom. I want to start making my own decisions by myself, go wherever I wanted to go without restriction, buy the things I liked with my own money, and nobody would tell me what to do. I couldn't wait to grow up and be free.
I don't know that it is just my little mind imagine what is never there. Well, adulthood hit without warning, I grew up, and seriously, adulthood is not exactly what I imagined. One of the biggest burdens of adulthood for me is responsibility. There is always something that needed attention. Bills need to be paid, work needs to be done, family needs you, plans need to be made, and somehow you are also expected to take care of yourself in the middle of all of it. So tell me how fun is adulthood in all of this.
Sometimes I wake up and already have a list of things running through my mind. And the funny thing is, nobody really cares if I'm tired. Life still goes on, I still have to get up and do what needs to be done.
I think I really realized that adulthood wasn't going to be easy when I started having to make serious decisions by myself. As a child, I honestly thought adults had everything figured out. I thought my parents and other grown-ups knew exactly what they were doing. Now that I am older, I have realized that most adults are just figuring things out as they go, nobody have it already figured out.
There are times when I have to make a decision and hope I'm are making the right one. There are times when I have no idea what the future looks like, but I still have to keep moving. That part can be really scary.
I've learned that comparison can steal your peace very quickly. People have different circumstances, different opportunities, and different timelines so I don't compare my life with others. Just because someone is ahead of me in one area doesn't mean I'm far behind in life.
Honestly, I haven't figure it out yet, I am still learning about how to cope with adulthood. I try to take things one day at a time instead of worrying about everything at once. When I have too much on my mind, I try to focus on the things I can actually control. I also talk to people I trust when things become overwhelming. Sometimes you don't need someone to solve your problems. You just need someone to listen.
There is one thing I always tell myself, just rest, resting is not laziness. There are days when I simply need to slow down, watch something, listen to music, spend some time alone, or do absolutely nothing productive for a while. And I'm learning not to feel guilty about that.
Adulthood has definitely taught me to be more patient with myself. I don't have all the answers, and I don't think anyone really does.
Maybe that is what being an adult actually means, not having everything figured out, but learning how to handle life even when you don't. Some days are good, some days are stressful, and some days you just want to disappear under your blanket. But somehow, we keep going. And for now, I think that is enough.
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