Have you ever been in a state where you really don’t know your purpose? Or perhaps lost in thought about what is the right way to go or the right thing to focus on? How often do you try to find your path in life? Well, for me, I struggle with this.
If there is some part of my life that needs transformation, it is definitely this—my personal growth and development, my goals, and my purpose. About three years ago, after finishing secondary school, I realized how shallow I was in my personal development and purpose.
I took a gap year because I wasn’t going to the university immediately. At that moment, I began to see how true it was that I hadn’t found my purpose. I had no school to keep me occupied or a place of work that gives me a purpose everyday.
I had a lot planned for that time— in my head, I chose to use that space of time to build myself and develop a skill or so. To basically own my ground, but little did I know, I hadn’t even been able to find my purpose.
I used to consider myself talentless. I hear a lot of people say there is no one without talent or something unique, but I can’t pinpoint it. Since I lack this insight, someone’s talent gives one’s purpose in life, I have no sense of direction.
I have always had a hard time deciding on various things because I still couldn’t pinpoint a purpose. I remember when my family asked me what I really wanted to study or focus on, it was on a New Year’s, and they were all present. I couldn’t even answer; all I did was cry.
The gap year I took to develop myself was not what I expected when I first decided to take it. All I did was go from one idea to another, try something, and the next thing I knew, I found myself doing another thing. I was following other people’s directions. Of course, I didn’t know where I was heading.
This led me to overthink. Generally, I am not really someone who is very consistent with something, so when things don’t work out as planned, I leave them. I used to have a lot of ideas; I would watch tons of videos, jot a lot of things down, but in reality, I was purposeless.
That year somehow led me to depression, I didn’t understand my life; more like I wasn’t happy with it. I compared myself with a lot of people, particularly those of my age, and I wondered how I was so left behind.
I used to have this kind of discussion with my sister, who is very talented. She would always say that talent doesn’t have to be being good at singing, writing, dancing, drawing, or being creative, etc. talent can be something more, something abstract, and I just need to take my time to figure it out. I always held onto this little encouragement.
This is the part of my life that needs transformation.
During this time, I was not really a minimalist ( all I know was that I love a clear space). I was just allowing everything in; I couldn’t differentiate between what truly mattered and what didn’t. I was blinded by other people’s ways and lifestyles. I could not focus on things that truly mattered, in which I could find a purpose.
Minimalism is helping me become more purposeful and intentional. It has been helping me clear mental distractions and giving me better reflection on my actions and decisions. It has also led me to a more satisfied and content life.
Although I do not yet have full clarity of my purpose and self-discovery or my personal development. I am human, not a well-programmed machine, I will continue to tread on, until I fully have a sense of direction. I am still on the journey of self-discovery, and it is okay to learn alongside it.
Fast forward to this day, I am in university, studying Nursing, which I am happy about. I am glad chose this path. Removing all those distractions, I realised that I am someone who loves being a source of joy or happiness to someone else. I love to make people smile, to offer a helping hand, and to listen to them. I am now seeing a more fulfilled life.
Minimalism has taught me how to cherish what I have. I might not have talent to be creative, but I know as a human, I have the power to create happiness within someone and create meaningful experiences with loved ones.
Slowly, I am transforming myself, I am finding my purpose, and I am pursuing and prioritising what truly matters.
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