The thing is, most of us do claim to love and all, and when we talk about things like this,what we think of is fancy dates, flowers, proposals and the likes, those things are good and necessary to build relationship/love too, but we hardly think of love as being sacrifice, commitment, those small, little and quiet actions, we don't see love as those things we do or engage in when our partner or anyone is watching or not, even when it's hard and all, what you do show's if you are really in love and respect your partner or not.
That aside, where I am going is that love requires a lot of work, putting in your all, being committed and all, same way our community/society needs it, they need us to show up, to help out, to stand in, to give, to be committed and all, even if we are only capable of doing little things, as long as we put our heart to it and we are committed, then I believe that's the purest form of love we can give/show.
Maybe it was because of how and where I grew up, cause I grow up seeing my mum putting us in a neighbors house till she returns at night, I grow up seeing my mum even raise other children kids, there's togetherness and love amidst us. Even in the market areas, you see traders trusting one another with goods even without instant payment, you see trader A leaves her wares for trader B to help run, sell till he/she returns.
That's how and where I grow up from, am a Nigerian, and am proud to be one, you even see how we gather to help people celebrate, jubilate and all, and if it's the other way round too, we are just so caring, we travel miles to go for weddings, burials, naming ceremonies of people who aren't even blood related, what else dp we call that if not a show of love. But somewhere along the line, as life's getting harder and the society colder, the love and care started to fade. We(people) became more isolated, less trusting and more protective.
It's understandable, thing's are not the way it eere before, times are hard, to eat, live, pay rents is hard, people are now doing everything they can to source and look for wealth, lives are no longer safe, people can't trust family members with their kids not to talk of neighbors. I understand all these and more, but I just believe that this is the time we really need to go back to the way we started, stopping to care for ourselves means us inviting dangers, we will crumble, care and shared responsibility is the soul of any/every society to progress.
It shouldn't be necessarily loud, we all know everyone is going through things, the fact that you are checking up on someone doesn't mean you are very well too, but someway, somehow you are helping yourself too. There are time's i visit or reach out to people, we talk and all, sometimes when I get back home I would see the need to remain hopeful, cause if I were to harm myself, what should the person I just talked to/advise do or think. And sometimes, I see that I am not even going through half of what some people are facing, I see reasons to be thankful and keep going.
Caring can be in those small things, not necessarily loud like I said earlier....checking on a neighbor who’s been unusually quiet, helping out the elderly in our community, showing respect, sharing a plate of food with the family next door, helping an elderly person cross the street, sharing your story to give up, giving a listening hear, mentoring a young child in the right direction. That's love, that's care, that's loving and showing up and that is what will keeo us going.
I recently saw a very small child in school, he brought out his food flask to eat, and when he's about to start, he looked out of the window and saw a small girl out there looking sad, I don't know if he beckoned on her to come in or went out to call her in, but I saw them both at the playground eating the boys food, one spoon at a time, I called and ask this boy and he said this girl is hungry and my classmates wouldn't share their food with her, I asked if he knew her snd he said no.....
It was a long issue, as the principal of the school was like....what if the girl after eating complains of stomach ache and stuffs happen, won't it affect the school, what if the girl was used my some harmful people or kidnappers to do evil, all those are understandable, it's what our world has turned out to be, but let's focus on the kind heart of this small boy, he doesn't care where the girl is from, either black or not, either christian or not, either literate or not....that's how it should be, humanity first, you don't need much to care, you just need the heart to.
We talk a lot about love, in our families, relationships and all, but imagine if we loved our community/society that way too, if we can be understanding, forgiving and patient with people same way we are with our lovers/partners. Then, things will definitely be different and better. Even if it's not always recognized or appreciated, it is necessary. Someone else's pain should concern us. The best way to rise and heal is to do....together.
You love your partner, friends, kids, relatives and all, also love your community, show it, invest in it, defend it, care for it. The community we stay in and build matters, it can determine our growth and all. Let's try to touch lives, let our love be loud in actions...that way we are really loving and caring.
Thanks for taking your time to read through.
All pictures are mine.
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