I am hoping nobody reads this post, because they are strictly my thoughts that I'm choosing to let out in a post for the sole reason of freeing myself and feel better about everything after now. I'm not the kind to share my every thoughts and it's been costing me more than I had thought.
I don't mean things are bad right now, if anything, I think things are great from my lens. I realize there is just one thing I need and every other aspects of my life are in good conditions that I can not even be grateful enough for. I know I'll do a lot better when I get the one thing I'm seeking.
I know I will come to me... (I almost wrote "Even if it doesn't come to me" lol) and I will continue to open myself to opportunities, moments, thoughts, ideas and friendships that will create platforms for achieving it for me. No negativity, no matter how tempting my brain finds negativity.
I've been having these random ideas, especially at night or my quiet moment before bed. Some days, I get it when I wake up randomly at night. The ideas keep coming but one thing I'm beginning to find uncomfortable and annoying is, I don't take actions to see if the ideas might work.
And then, there is my relationship with family both far and near that is weighing me down quietly. It's even more sad that I can't seem to talk about it, not even with my closest family just because I feel I'm yet to actually do what I need to do for the talk to come naturally and easier.
Its a new day and I woke up thinking of just hugging my mum, saying words of encouragement and going back to my day's activities. That is because, I could feel in her silence that she is bottling up something that have happened. I'm not sure why she won't share.
But from my personal experience, I can guess why she won't share because there are just those times we choose to bear our losses or heartaches by ourselves so it doesn't affect the flow of others going in a direction. We forget that it's okay to be hurt and seek help or just a hug.
In any case, I'll try to keep her calm and throw in some jokes so she would laugh, I believe that would help to an extent and we would all be happy because no matter what happens, I tend to believe that doors close for new doors to open and discomfort comes for real comfort to come.
Posted Using INLEO
