A lot of times, I have questioned my own abilities, thinking that I am not just good enough all because of living a life of comparison. When I look at some of my friends and how they are living large and their numerous achievements in life, I feel so low and depressed. Their achievements don't match up with mine, whereas we are mates and graduated in the same year at the university. In the past, this feeling has tortured my emotions badly as I kept trying to live by the expectations of others rather than staying true to myself.
Let me tell you another aspect of comparison I did in the past. After I got married with my husband, I found myself in the city of Lagos State, Nigeria, where he resides. Initially, I didn't see anything bad with the location we are living in until I discovered that some of my friends who live in the same state are actually living in a more developed area of Lagos State—a more furnished home with a luxury kind of lifestyle. I began to compare to the point of telling that to my husband. He felt that I don't appreciate his effort but desire where others have reached in life. I must admit that my husband has played a great role in shaping my mentality about life for good, and I am not taking that for granted. He made me realize that every human moves at different paces in life, and that doesn't mean that they won't reach their destination as long as they are working towards that. The only thing is that the timing differs.
The thing is, comparison is very common among humans, and while it has the positive side in terms of driving us to improve or making us draw inspiration from others, it also has the negative side. When we totally lose it, constantly matching our achievements with others, it could lead to mental stress and even push us into doing things negatively.
The good side of comparison is when we allow the feeling to push us into improving ourselves. I think it's not totally bad to admire others achievements, but it makes more sense when it turns out to inspire us into doing better in life without pressure from anywhere.
It can be emotionally draining whenever one begin a life of comparison in a negative manner. Nothing we do for ourselves will seem satisfactory unless we achieve exactly what others have, forgetting that everyone cannot be at the same level in life. That's just how God designed humanity, and it's best to accept ourselves, set goals, and work towards them; let our goals inspire us in becoming a better person in life.
Humans are naturally competitive in nature, and without having control of our feelings, comparison can be harmful.
Wrapping up, I think comparison could be negative or positive depending on how we allow these feelings to affect our lives. In the past, it affected my mental health negatively, as I continued to match my achievement with that of others until I shifted my mindset to allow comparison to serve as a motivation and inspiration for me to improve in life.
Image 2 was taken from canva
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