Should I not rather treasure my life and that of my child instead of staying in a toxic environment? Is it not better to overlook what people will say and save my sanity, which is the most vital? Let's get into the topic properly.
Nowadays, premarital sex is rampant among young people. What if you got pregnant and encountered rude in-laws with a partner who was incapable of standing by himself or standing up for you? Would you rather endure their maltreatment or walk out of your relationship and raise your child alone? Why?
When I was growing up, I faced a lot of pressure from men. On two occasions, I was nearly raped, but I escaped. My grandmother, who raised me, was always on my mind, reminding me to guide my body jealously and not give in to the desire of my flesh or succumb to the pressure of men out there. This woman acted like a monitoring spirit over my life, to the point that talking to guys scares me. I always feel that she is right there beside me, watching my movements. At a point, I became so uncomfortable with her level of restrictions on guys, and she explained her reasons for doing so and gave me the implications of premarital sex, and that sounded like a fixed reminder on my brain every day. I think her approach helped me stay away from premarital sex, even though she was so strict to the point that her actions affected my social life.
So to answer the question above, it's sad to see how young people today are involved in premarital sex, even though the reasons are not far-fetched. But for whatever reason I got pregnant along the line and encountered rude in-laws plus an incapable husband who cannot stand for me and my child, it's total nonsense. The combination doesn't add up at all, and walking away shouldn't even be a negotiation.
Why?
Because staying in a toxic environment will definitely affect my mental health, which should be jealously protected. Secondly, no matter my mistake of getting pregnant before marriage, I already have a life to care for (my child), the life I brought into this world, which is my responsibility. It doesn't matter if the father of the child cares for or protects us; it's my duty to protect my child. What will I be doing in an environment where my in-laws, who are supposed to support me with the pregnancy, show rudeness instead? I am currently a married mom of three, and I can tell you that every pregnant mom needs both emotional and physical support, and where it can't be found, it's usually difficult for the peggy mom to thrive well.
There is nothing as beautiful as having in-laws who love you and accept you as one of their family members. Sadly, some in-laws can be mean to new additions to their families, which is bad, coupled with a husband who can't even stand for the wife. It's unhealthy and an unwise decision to manage such relationships. However, we get to choose what we want in life; nobody else can decide for us; after all, life is a choice.
I know of a lady who managed such an unhealthy relationship because of her cultural beliefs, and she has remained an unhappy and unfilled woman till date. Her life got shattered; there was no peace of mind from the husband nor from the in-laws, and she lacked the courage to face her family because she thought that she had disappointed them by getting pregnant in the first place. She aspired to become a medical practitioner but ended up as a punching bag in her husband's house. What a life!
I also know it may be difficult for a lady to raise a child alone, but it's better than living in a house full of demons. What will then become of the child when he or she is surrounded by bad people? Of course the child's life will be influenced negatively.
I believe that every woman has a purpose in life. With or without a man, it's great that we discover ourselves, pursue our dreams, and be fulfilled. Getting pregnant is not a death sentence, and shouldn't be the reason for shutting down our dreams and aspirations in life. It may be easier said than done, but the best is to boldly walk away from the unhealthy relationship for your good and the good of your child, facing your dreams and aspiring for a better future.
The image is mine
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