Growing up, I have always been seen as the youngest in the family because of my short stature. Talking of stature and height, I took after my late mom while my siblings took after our dad in terms of height, so whenever I and my immediate younger sister are walking together, they think she is the eldest while I am the youngest. It took a long while for people closer to us to identify me as the big sister and it was always a funny thing to us. People will ask my sister and be like, "Is she your younger sister?" She would laugh and say I am the eldest. This was always embarrassing to me a lot of times but just need to wave it off.
It got to a point, where my sister begged me to switch roles with her, she would be the elder sister and I, the younger. This made me remember Esau in the Bible who sold his birthright to his younger brother because of a delicious porridge. I don't want such to happen, haha. Even though she joked about it then, it was something weird for her to even think of.
My short stature has deceived so many people that they do not believe me when I tell them my age, they would be like, "Tell us your real age" I don't get it! One thing I will never lie about is my age. Where we see some people hiding their age and never willing to reveal it to others because they want to carry the mentality of acting big around others so they would regard them as seniors, this is something I will never do, I don't hide my age. So with this, they see me as a small girl among others, whereas most of them are younger to me.
There was a time when I was treated like a young teenager among adults. They would keep sending me on errands, going up and down, being that gentle girl, I would go without refusing. When they got to know my age, they apologised and gave me the regard I expected.
I would wonder and think what could be the problem why people see me that way and not like someone who is old enough to get married and have her kids, and it gave me the answer that it's because of my stature just like a teenager 😅 my face looks younger than my age too, some say I have a baby face.
I don't like participating in some activities that would take away my time from other things, so when I refuse some, they feel I am too young and afraid of taking such responsibility.
Another way people see me is that I am someone who has enough money in her account and enjoys myself as I desire. With this, whenever I tell them I am broke, they don't believe me. They see me as someone who can never go broke or need help because they assume I have all it takes to enjoy life, forgetting that I am also a human struggling and striving to survive.
A friend wanted to loan some money last week and I told her I didn't have any. She said she didn't believe me and that I must help her get the money by all means. I just couldn't laugh or even get angry at her because she is just like some set of people who aren't considerate even after explaining my challenges to them. Truth is, I had no money, I just sent some amount to my uncle's wife who needed money and because of that, was broke. She never believed me. I had to call a friend who loaned me the amount and I gave her.
Sometimes, I just sit down to think about this because I expect these kinds of people, especially those close to me to understand and not see me as someone who doesn't need help too. Not asking for help from anyone doesn't mean I have enough. Many times, I just decide not to ask especially when I can understand that the individual is also struggling and working hard.
Some people will never be like me where I understand and even if I ask and you do not give me, it's fine, that doesn't make our relationship end. I am not entitled to people's life and just because I am around you doesn't make that a pass to ask and you must do it for me at all cost. I was bittered by that statement she made that by all means, I must find the money to loan her, I decided to do it for the sake of friendship and how I am so soft when dealing with people. I know such a thing will not happen next time because when I tell you the truth and you refuse to believe, so be it. I don't force people to believe what I say.
The truth is, I carry myself with respect and need to be shown that and not treated as if I am still a teenager because of my short stature. That shouldn't stop me from appreciating my body and physique because I am wonderfully made by God.
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