It was when mom died that I realized how hard life would be for me, especially realising how dad wouldn't be able to take care of us, especially since we were already out of secondary school and waiting to enter university. My mom had always been doing everything for me and my siblings and I never felt ashamed when she was buying underwear for me.
It was easier to tell her what I needed and she was always getting them for me when she had it. I so much relied on her that even when I had some little change, I found it hard to take from it to buy personal stuff for myself but to ask Mom for money.
But when she left us, it was like someone hitting my chest with a hard stone and bringing me to the reality that no one would do all this for me again — I was all alone and had no one to cry to for what I needed.
It was hard to tell Dad to give me money for bras, pants and the like as I wasn't free with him to that extent.
I had a little independent experience when I went for my NCE programme in the year 2012 and though I wasn't under my parents where I could be controlled and monitored, I was all by myself, making decisions and going to classes without anyone waking me early to do those things. I knew I was supposed to be at the lecture hall by 8 am and should get up on time to get dressed, but then I was still getting some pocket money and academic fees. I didn't consider myself being an independent lady then.
The first time I completely saw myself as an independent lady and one no one had to tell me about was when I started making money for myself. That was in my 200 level in the second semester when I decided to face Hive platform committedly. At that time, it was my big sis who encouraged me to go back to school for my degree and volunteered to pay my school fees till I finished school. While she was busy sending me school fees and sometimes, some change to help myself with, I was taking care of my feeding with the money gotten from this platform.
The independent stage was more obvious when I gave out #80,000 ($80) to my brother which was the biggest money I had to sacrifice for the first time to my sibling who cried for help because he wanted to go to school that year. It dawned on me how my life started without depending on anyone again other than being depended on by my siblings. I even told my sister not to send the last school fees when I was confident that I could pay it on my own but she insisted on staying on her word to pay the fee all through till I was done.
Ever since then till now, it has been me taking care of myself and not relying on anyone. I saw life for what it is and while also learning lots of lessons in my adulthood age and understanding how being independent could be, sometimes hard, especially in the aspect of making decisions on your own, I knew I should tighten my belt well so as not to regret some vital things in my life. So far today, I am enjoying that stage and knowing I could take care of myself and not wait for someone to do that for me has greatly helped me grow into the lady I have become today.
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