While growing up I usually used to place my hope on my friends. Not just because I wanted the best for them, but because I felt like I things turned out pretty well for them then it will automatically do the same for me.
I remember a close friend of mine in my college days, Celestine. I remember how he kept on reassuring me that if things works out fine for him in life that he was going to carry me along as his home boy.
At that period he happened to run into a foreigner while on a flight. The person worked in one of the biggest oil companies in the country—shell. They got talking and vibed well with each other, and along the line they exchanged contact. The turn out of their discussion seemed to be fruitful. While on the flight the man told him, “Keep in contact.”
When they also touched down, the man repeated the same thing to him, “keep in contact.” Celestine told me what had transpired between him and the man on the plane and told me to be hopeful and optimistic that things take a positive light because if it did, we’ll both be smiling. I kept my hope alive.
Today, Celestine is in Canada. And not just that, he is doing pretty well. I don’t know how he got there, don’t really know if things later worked out fine between he and the man on the plane, or by other means. The point is, bro made it and forgot about his home boy and the promises he made if he happened to get to the point where he is. Even when I message him on IG because that is the only means I can get through to him, it takes him days to reply me and even when he does, he sounds like he is taking to a stranger.
A little Disclaimer. This post is not really about Celestine. It’s just me trying to say how I’ve come to realize that in this life, in most cases, no one is really coming for you. No Superman is coming to save you. You are your own hero.
Now I am not denying that there are occasions where it gets all good for one person and the person lifts the other person up. But banking solely on the success of someone with the expectation that the person will pick you up and transform your life may lead to disappointment.
The truth is that it would not always be that way and we just have to accept that and be cool with it. The best we can do is to be happy for the person, and instead of feeling entitled just because we know the person we should rather feel motivated to write our own success story. What we ought to realize is that nobody owes us anything. At first, I used to feel betrayed in a way by Celestine for failing to carry me along. But later, I came to accept the fact that he didn’t really owe me nothing. If he had decided to reach out to me and set me up then good for me. I’ll take it as being fortunate and lucky, not a debt I was owed that was being paid off.
I think that is the problem with most people today. Just because a friend of them blew up they begin to feel like they deserve a seat right next to the friend who blew up at the banquet table. Come on, now. Some people do not even know them that well, some where nothing more than neighbors or simply just knew the person by seeing his or her face regularly, and when they blew up, they want to be like, “Where is my own share?” For what exactly?
I learned not to depend on the success of other people even if they are my best friend, or whether it’s my own blood brother. Sometimes I am glad when I am ignored by such people who have already gotten to that height in life, because I wouldn’t want the situation whereby I eventually make it tomorrow they’ll come out to say they were the ones who made me who I am. I think we are all responsible for ourselves and should not place high hopes on people. After if they can do it, then we can.
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