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People who know me personally as a person, they know me with a lot of things. They know me that I take time to build something.
And I know myself that one day I'm building a WordPress website, the next day I'm on N8n workflow, AI agent, go ahead of automation, I was trying to look for client here and there. Or I'm reading about the latest thing when it comes to quantum computing and the likes. It's all because I believe that the future belongs to those who understand it before everyone else does.
Those who understand it before everyone else does can see ambition. But what I see is confidence. They don't see the pressure that comes with dreaming so far ahead.
You have to have that ambition in you for you to be able to carve the next niche of what is coming in life. The emotion that I find others to talk about the fear of not reaching my full potential. Sometimes when I drop my laptop after every work of the day, I ask myself if I've actually reached my goal, and stuff like that.
It's a strange fear because it doesn't come with laziness. In fact, I probably work too much these days, except when internet connection is disrupting my work. While many people are going to sleep, I'm taking time to watch tutorial here.
And I'm taking one or two experiments with AI automation or improving my website. Thinking about how technology can really solve life problems and business problems of people. Because if I'm able to solve the business of people, then I can do the impossible.
And I know that money will keep coming in. Yet there are nights when I keep on wondering whether all this effort will eventually lead to the kind of life that I imagine to have. I've had seasons when uphope was very quiet, and everywhere there is little to no clients that are coming in.
I do question myself, if I've chosen the right path. I've taken time to watch more courses and upscale myself, upgrade myself to one of the best levels I can be. But still, I'm not yet admitted into any job.
This kind of moment can hurt very deep. And this is a fear that can haunt a freelancer like me. What I do with this is that I keep telling myself that I will not stop moving.
I will keep on showing forward every day. Another feeling I really share is the weight of expectation. I don't just want a successful career.
I want to become the best when it comes to Nigerian digital voice, when it comes to AI automation, web design, WordPress, and how to help other people. I'm making plans to go into YouTube automation too. I want to become someone in the nearest that will be called out in front of thousands of people to lecture on the best thing to do.
I want businesses across the world to know my name because I build systems that save them time. If you are repeating it every day, AI can do it for you and take care of that. I want to be able to increase revenue and make people's lives better.
I want to prove to the whole world that somebody that comes from this small part of the world in Nigeria can compete with the best engineer in Silicon Valley and beat the best in hands down. I know that's a heavy dream to carry. What makes opening up easier is talking to people who understand my ambition without them looking at it as an egocentric or someone filled with pride.
I've had experiences of people who remind me that my worth is not measured by the contracts that I've won or the money that I earned. My conversation with God is showing that I can do what in true crisis strengthens me. How I relieve myself of this fear is that I write about it every day and I keep on setting my goal.
Sometimes I write ideas for official businesses. Sometimes I plan my YouTube videos that teaches WordPress, AI automations and the like. Other times I simply write down my fear.
Once everything is written on paper and there are actionable plans through it, it looks as if half of the fear is gone. Technology has taught me several things. Every automation starts with a trigger.
Human healing works the same way. You start to think about that just one honest take and half of the problem is solved. I'm still learning that vulnerability is not a software bug to fix.
It's part of being human and this is one of the strongest parts. The kind of people who hide their emotion are those who find the courage to share them with the right people.
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